How to fix a relationship. 5 tips to help you improve your relationship.
Are you asking yourself whether your relationship can even be fixed? Maybe you have tried everything down to couples counselling and still feel hopeless. Fixing a relationship doesn’t take a complete change of who you are but it does take some work and effort. The goal is to create more intimacy and a deeper connection with your partner. Here are some top tips to help you repair your relationship.
Face up to your differences and learn to truly accept them.
This means finding the right time to bring something up if it made you feel unhappy or hurt. Having the trust and confidence in your relationship to know that you can voice something that has caused you to feel hurt and know that your partner will listen and respond in an effective way. If you don’t find calm spaces to be able to voice your differences, you will build resentment for one another and begin to bottle things up until the connection just dwindles. If your partner comes to you with something they are feeling unhappy about, try to practice not taking it as a criticism of you but approach with compassion instead.
Practice good communication skills.
As with facing up to your differences, being able to communicate effectively about those differences can make or break your relationship. Carve out some calm time where you can voice something if needed and ensure you approach it will compassion. When talking about an event use sentences beginning with ‘I’ rather than ‘you’ to minimise it becoming confrontational. Allow your partner to have their say without you taking it personally and voice your own thoughts in a measured and non-judgemental way. If things begin to feel frustrating or heated, take 20 minutes and come back to the conversation.
Learn your partners love language.
Learn what your partners love language is and speak to them in that. If your love language is about acts of service and you feel loved when your partner does tasks to help you out with your day, you may naturally assume they speak the same love language as you do and try to make them happy this way. This can be misguided because perhaps their love language is quality time. It is important to recognise what makes your partner feel loved as opposed to what makes you feel loved and put in the effort to make this happen.
Talk to a relationship expert.
We offer a free telephone consultation to get to know your relationship and it’s challenges. We offer specially made programmes to help people fix their relationships. Sessios take place by telephone or video call and last for one hour each. You can book your first free consultation here.