How to stop fighting with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Do you feel like you are always fighting with your partner?
Whether you have been together for 1 year or 10, disagreements will happen within relationships. But when constant arguing happen it can be hard. It may leave you feeling tired, drained, questioning yourself and potentially not wanting to see your partner. Research shows that couples bicker on average over 2000 times a year! Whether that’s about what to watch on TV, money or not listening. The biggest cause of an argument within a relationship is about finances. Fighting in a relationship can happen however fighting constantly is not healthy.
Ways to stop arguing with your partner.
Conflict can be a useful thing when handled correctly. The best way to avoid disagreements turning into negative fights is to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. Some of the ways that couples fight are;
correcting the other person constantly
pulling faces when your partner says something
Ignoring your partners needs
passive aggressiveness (huffing, making comments).
Here are some top tips to help avoid or resolve disagreements in a healthy way.
Learn each others love language and communication styles. Don’t expect your partner to communicate with you in your communication style. Appreciate that theirs may be different and accept that. Equally, you may be treating your partner in a way that you feel loved and appreciated. Maybe they don’t feel loved and valued in the same way you do. You may feel loved when you spend quality time together so may be trying to enforce this and wondering why your partner isn’t satisfied by it. Perhaps their love language is acts of service, they may feel loved by you when you do a useful task to help them out.
Be aware of your own triggers and address them.
We all have different things that can trigger us to feel unhappy, insecure or anxious. This can in turn lead to a negative reaction to something seemingly innocent or harmless. Make note of all the times you feel triggered by something that has happened and have some thinking time to try to recognise where this stems from and whether your reaction was appropriate.
Make time and effort for one another. Make an effort to remember all the reasons you love each other and are compatible. Have date nights that make you feel relaxed and try to have fun with each other.
Try not to bring up the past.
It can be easy to remind your partner of that thing they said 6 months ago that was so hurtful to you and get wound up about it all over again. You forgave them for that thing which is why you are still here with them so forgive them with conviction- don’t do it half-heartedly and punish them for it later on.
If you need some guidance on improving your relationship or want to put into action how to stop fighting with your girlfriend, book a free telephone call with our coach to find out more about how we can help you. Book yours here.Don’t